Spiritual leadership and ethics are at the heart of this ASI community consultation. In this thoughtful discussion, members explore accountability, ethics training, membership value, funding, peer support, and what it would take to build a stronger future for ethical spiritual leadership. This conversation centers on a practical question: what would make membership in the Association for Spiritual Integrity more meaningful and more effective? Participants discuss who spiritual leadership is for, whether ethics training should be required, why educational resources often go unused, how membership fees might work, why prominent teachers hesitate to join, and whether students rather than teachers may be the key audience for future growth. Along the way, the discussion touches on peer support, community as a safeguard against isolation, the need for better integration after spiritual or transformational experiences, and the challenge of turning strong ideals into sustainable structures. Rick also reflects on the importance of empowering students to recognize ethical breaches before harm occurs. 00:00 Welcome and consultation purpose 00:02:30 The three core questions 00:05:08 Who counts as a spiritual leader? 00:09:13 Rethinking followers and credibility 00:15:02 Why ethics resources go unused 00:17:24 Should ethics training be required? 00:19:07 What makes membership meaningful 00:23:35 Growth, resistance, and limited resources 00:26:14 Integration and practice community 00:31:51 Membership levels and course requirements 00:36:14 Funding, dues, and sustainability 00:38:22 Why major teachers stay away 00:46:06 Paying for ethics training 00:51:12 Surveying inactive members 00:55:19 What members would pay for 00:58:42 Teachers as islands 01:02:02 Leading by example Thumbnail phrases Ethics for Teachers Can ASI Survive? Teachers Need Community

Oneika Mays is a meditation and yoga teacher with nearly 15 years of experience, including a decade working at Rikers Island Correctional Facility in New York—first as a volunteer, then for five years as the jail's first full-time mindfulness coach. In this 90-minute webinar hosted by the Advocates for Spiritual Integrity, she leads an honest and deeply personal exploration of spiritual bypassing: the tendency to use spiritual practice to avoid rather than engage with unresolved wounds, difficult emotions, and shadow material. The term "spiritual bypassing" was coined by Buddhist psychologist John Welwood in 1984, and Oneika argues it remains one of the most common and least examined pitfalls for teachers and practitioners today. The deeper our practice goes, she points out, the more sophisticated our tools for avoidance become. Breath work, reframing, holding space—these very practices can become, in the wrong moment, elegant escape hatches. And the teacher role itself can function as one of the most sophisticated hiding places of all, offering built-in permission to always be the one holding the room rather than being inside it. Drawing on stories from her years at Rikers, Oneika walks through three core elements that feed bypassing: shame, judgment, and guilt. She introduces the Buddhist concepts of hiri and ottapa—moral shame versus toxic shame—and explains why distinguishing between them matters so deeply for anyone in a position of leadership. She shares how judgment showed up in her own practice, including a moment during the 2020 George Floyd reckoning when she found herself judging others and had to look underneath her reaction to find grief. And she reflects on the particular challenge of guilt—how it can wear the appearance of humility and accountability while actually keeping us stuck and distant from the people we serve. As antidotes, Oneika teaches the Four Brahma Viharas—loving-kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy, and equanimity—and guides participants through meditation practice. The session closes with a rich Q&A and a call to something Oneika names transformative justice: not just returning to where we were before a mistake, but allowing ourselves and our students to be genuinely changed by the encounter with our own mess. This webinar was hosted by the Association for Spiritual Integrity (ASI) and recorded on Memorial Day weekend, May 25, 2026. Oneika is the author of Sit With Me and co-hosts the podcast You Good with Pamela Stokes Eggleston. Learn more at https://oneikamays.com. 0:00:00 Welcome and Community Agreements 0:01:51 Phil Introduces Oneika Mays 0:03:33 Oneika's Welcome 0:04:42 Opening Meditation: Arriving Together 0:07:57 Who Is Oneika? Background and Experience 0:08:11 Teaching at Rikers Island 0:11:18 Sacred Mess: The Title Explained 0:12:00 What Is Spiritual Bypassing? 0:12:55 Three Elements That Lead to Bypassing 0:14:43 The Teacher Role as a Hiding Place 0:18:42 Story: Protective Custody and Conditional Love 0:21:03 The Moment of Recognition 0:24:34 Story: The Woman Who Didn't Want to Meditate 0:28:17 Story: Politics, Identity, and Being Shut Down 0:33:32 Shame: The Secret Keeper 0:35:05 Hiri and Ottapa: The Two Guardians 0:36:37 Four Steps for Dealing with Shame 0:38:58 Judgment: The Olympic Level Judger 0:40:30 Story: George Floyd and the Black Squares 0:43:45 Judgment at Rikers Island 0:45:14 Guilt: The Sneakiest of the Three 0:45:40 Working at Rikers as an Abolitionist 0:48:25 Story: The 'Dude' Incident 0:51:18 Restorative vs. Transformative Justice 0:55:04 The Four Brahma Viharas 0:56:11 Loving-Kindness: Just Like Me 0:58:14 Compassion and Its Near Enemy 1:00:35 Extended Guided Meditation 1:10:15 Open Discussion 1:10:49 Q&A: Farah 1:13:49 Q&A: Annie 1:15:06 Q&A: Jerry 1:23:26 Q&A: Han 1:27:24 Q&A: Final Question on the Four Steps 1:28:16 Closing Remarks and Gratitude

Integrity means living in alignment with your values. Spiritual integrity goes even further: it calls on us to embody those values while carrying the responsibility of guiding others. As spiritual leaders, our words and actions ripple outward. Accountability, transparency, and a commitment to universal ethical principles such as compassion, respect, and non-harm are not optional. They are foundational. But accountability does not stand alone. It is made possible and genuine by other values, and key among them is humility. Humility is the inner space that allows us to say, “I might be wrong”, “I might not know.” Without humility, accountability is defensive or performative. With it, accountability becomes real. In this 90-minute lightly facilitated community gathering, ASI members share their perspectives on accountability and humility in spiritual leadership.

Even solicited feedback from our students can be challenging to meet and manage—but what about unsolicited feedback? Especially when the feedback is critical and unexpected—or frankly hostile—it requires a more advanced skill set. We need to meet our students where they are without asking them to be otherwise; we need to extract the substance of their concern from their delivery; and we need to address it in a mutually satisfying way. Grace is a plus; integrity is a must. But how do we do all that? Let's discuss and break it down together, in both spiritual and practical terms. Speaker Bio: Maryam Thea Elijah is a Murabi Ruhi of the Shadhuliyya Sufi order under Sidi Muhammad al-Jamal ar-Rafa’i ash-Shadhuliyya. She grew up in the household of Lex Hixon, a multiply ordained adept in a number of sacred traditions, and so from childhood, she has been immersed in earnest and honest interfaith conversations. She is also a Chinese medicine practitioner of 40 years with a particular delight in 'interfaith healing’ conversations between medical modalities that are rooted in spirit. Maryam Thea Elijah is currently designing and preparing to teach Right Use of Power Institute's “Right Use of Power for Spiritual Leaders” program. In this ASI community gathering, Maryam Thea Elijah explores how spiritual leaders can receive and work with unsolicited feedback from students in ways that are accountable, trauma‑aware, and grounded in real relationship. Drawing on Right Use of Power Institute frameworks, she unpacks power dynamics in teacher–student relationships, the impact of shame and nervous‑system activation, and the difference between appreciation, evaluation, coaching, and resolving problems. Through stories, practical language examples, and live sharing from participants, she offers concrete inner and outer strategies for de‑escalating conflict, reframing criticism as coaching, and creating safer feedback cultures in spiritual communities. The conversation also touches on student perspectives, the pain of leaving teachers and communities, and the importance of honoring both our humanness and our spiritual depth in contemporary spiritual leadership. Chapters 00:00 – Welcome and ASI agreements for a safe learning space 03:25 – Introducing Maryam Thea Elijah and her background in Sufism and Chinese medicine 07:40 – Moment of silence and orienting to “the heart of your own path” 11:30 – Unsolicited vs. solicited feedback and why regular feedback matters 16:55 – Practical ways to actively solicit feedback in spiritual communities 22:30 – Power dynamics, “relationships of inestimable importance,” and spiritual authority 28:40 – Neurology of up‑power and down‑power: limbic activation and empathy 34:10 – Types of feedback: appreciation, evaluation, coaching, and resolving difficulties 40:05 – Receiving even harsh criticism as coaching and “a gift to excellence” 46:20 – Shame responses in leaders: recognizing patterns instead of bypassing 52:45 – Functional freeze in spiritual teachers and self‑regulation vs. dissociation 58:30 – External strategies: timing, context‑setting, and “thou shalt not escalate” 1:04:15 – Deep listening, full emotional exhale, and key phrases (“Tell me more”) 1:10:40 – Participant example: losing flow in a circle and recovering in real time 1:18:00 – Student perspective: unsolicited advice among peers and “teacher wannabes” 1:25:10 – Transactional dynamics, money, and expectations in spiritual offerings 1:32:00 – When students want a parent, not a human teacher: roles and boundaries 1:39:30 – Giving feedback to fragile teachers from the down‑power position 1:46:50 – Grieving teachers and communities, and the pain of necessary “cleaving” 1:54:10 – Online culture, leaving vs. staying, and new paradigms of spiritual leadership 2:01:30 – Closing reflections, simple feedback questions, and ASI’s ongoing mission

This ASI webinar features Zen teacher and economist Julie Nelson speaking on spiritual teachers’ responsibility, harm, and genuine accountability within spiritual communities. She shares how repeated abuses of power in her own Zen sangha—financial misconduct, bullying, and sexual exploitation—exposed the limits of “good intentions” and the dangers of idealization, projection, and power imbalance in teacher–student relationships. From there she unpacks what accountability really means, distinguishes it from toxic blame, and explores trauma, spiritual bypassing, and the tendency of teachers to hide behind roles or pedestal status. In the second half she outlines concrete structures and cultures of accountability, from clear ethics policies and grievance procedures at the local level to professional associations and legal recourse, and calls for spiritually mature leaders to welcome feedback, peer oversight, and meaningful consequences as part of their practice. 00:00 – Welcome, ASI mission, and agreements for a safe, non‑promotional community space 02:20 – Introducing presenter Julie Nelson, her Zen background, book, and experience of three waves of teacher abuse 05:32 – Motivations for the talk: good intentions, ignorance, and how unexamined dynamics cause harm 08:42 – Three starting assumptions: wanting to help, human fallibility, and the “mystery” of spiritual work 13:21 – Defining accountability and implicit agreements in all relationships 16:21 – The teacher–student relationship: vulnerability, projection, and the power to help or harm 21:00 – Boundary violations: sexual, financial, and emotional exploitation and misuse of student openness 24:30 – Students’ responsibilities vs teachers’ heightened, “sacred” obligations 29:20 – Why students cannot be asked to police or keep teachers accountable 32:40 – Accountability vs toxic blame, and why seeking collective accountability is spiritual maturity 38:10 – Natural teacher tendencies: ego inflation, loving praise, resisting criticism, and rookie mistakes 44:00 – Discussion: trauma‑informed perspectives for both teachers and students 52:10 – Spiritual bypassing, pedestal dynamics, and the risk of hiding in the teacher role 58:40 – Abuse of volunteer labor and other often‑ignored forms of exploitation 01:05:30 – Transition to part two: “accountability light” and why good intentions, peers, or file‑drawer ethics aren’t enough 01:11:10 – Legal and media accountability: courts, lawsuits, news, and social media call‑outs as crude last resorts 01:20:00 – Professional organizations and teacher associations as vehicles for real standards and investigations 01:27:00 – Local sangha/organizational boards, fiduciary duty, and boards that actually stand up to abusive teachers 01:34:10 – Elements of a live ethics policy: clear behavioral standards, dual‑role rules, confidentiality, reporting 01:41:00 – Grievance procedures: ombudspersons, impartial investigation, due process, and appropriate confidentiality 01:48:30 – Sanctions and repair: warnings, censure, suspension, restitution, supervised rehabilitation, and long time‑outs 01:56:40 – Q&A: examples of guidelines, waiting periods for teacher–student romances, and sample ethics policies 02:06:10 – ASI’s own struggle with “accountability light” and the question of adding more “teeth” to membership 02:14:30 – Humility to the divine, shadow/trauma work, peer‑to‑peer governance, and the tension with “freedom” 02:24:00 – The gap between attainment claims and actual behavior; what enlightenment should look like in conduct 02:31:30 – Feedback systems and future ASI webinars on feedback and community‑wide accountability practices 02:38:00 – Closing appreciations, resources (Julie’s book, other authors), and invitation to keep deepening this work

As spiritual teachers and leaders, we are here for others. We guide and provide support to our students, clients, followers, and community members. But where do we ourselves go when we need support? Where do we turn when we need to be held in confidentiality and safety? This ASI community discussion explores the value of having people and places where we find it safe to express ourselves honestly and openly acknowledge that we need support.

Lots of wisdom was shared at our last community discussion “Finding Our Way Through Uncertain Political Times” (watch the recording here), and we’re keeping the conversation going since many of you asked for more. Join us for “Finding Our Way Through Uncertain Political Times II: An Emerging Process” as we explore together what is being asked of us in this moment. Regardless of our spiritual attainment, our human experiences (and those of our students and clients) will be impacted longer term by what is happening now. As spiritual leaders and practitioners, what is our responsibility, if any? What is our role individually and collectively? Many have walked this path before us such as: Rigoberta Menchú – Indigenous Guatemalan K’iche’ woman who combined Mayan spiritual traditions with Catholic faith while fighting for indigenous rights, leading to her Nobel Peace Prize in 1992. Mahatma Gandhi – Deeply grounded in Hinduism, led India’s nonviolent overthrow of British rule and inspired Baptist preacher Martin Luther King and other American civil rights leaders. Dorothy Day – Catholic social activist who co-founded the Catholic Worker Movement, advocated for the poor, and promoted pacifism during wartime. Thich Nhat Hanh – Vietnamese monk who publicly opposed the Vietnam War and coined the term “Engaged Buddhism.” What is being asked of us now? Are we being called to some form of social or political engagement? How can we best serve our students and communities? We invite our members to share what has worked for them. Please come to our next ASI community discussion and share your experience navigating political turmoil. Have you discovered meaningful ways forward? What approaches and actions have proved effective? Lightly facilitated by Philip Goldberg.

Regardless of our spiritual attainment, our human experiences (and those of our students and clients) will be impacted longer term by what is happening now. As spiritual leaders and practitioners, what is our responsibility, if any? Are we called to be silent or to take action? What do the alternative paths look like? Is there a role for us, individually or collectively? We are noticing several attitudes among spiritual leaders and practitioners: • I’m tuning out. The news disturbs my hard-earned inner peace. It threatens my connection to the divine. I have to protect my spiritual life and my mental health. • I’m unattached. There’s nothing I can do about it, so I’m shifting into neutral. No judgment, no worries. I’m staying anchored in Spirit, witnessing it all. • It’s all meant to be. It’s in God’s hands. I trust the universe to work things out. Whatever happens is part of the divine plan. • It’s all illusion. Unreal. Maya. Nothing ever happened anyway. • I’m working on the spiritual level, healing the world by meditating / praying / chanting. That’s more powerful than any action in the material world. • I’m staying positive. Darkness comes before dawn. There has to be destruction to make way for the beautiful new age that’s coming. • I’m unaffected but I have a responsibility to help my followers deal with fear and anger. • I’m rolling up my sleeves. There are dangers afoot. We can’t afford to be indifferent. We can’t hide behind our spirituality. We all have to pitch in. Let’s share with each other how we navigate (or can’t navigate) our political climate. How can we protect ourselves and our followers and best serve the greater good? How do we stand on our spiritual values and not get caught up in political ideology? How can we honor precepts and principles that are ethically sound? Lightly facilitated by Phillip Goldberg.

Many spiritual teachers and guides grapple with the challenge of providing valuable guidance while ensuring their financial needs are met. This meeting aims to foster an open dialogue about best practices for financial compensation in spiritual teaching/guidance, and identify pitfalls to avoid. During this session, we: – Explored ethical considerations around charging for spiritual services. – Discussed various compensation models, including donation-based, fees or the sacred economics model. -Shared success stories and effective strategies with each other drawing from our experiences as professional spiritual leaders. -Discussed practices that can lead to misunderstandings or mistrust within the community. Whether you are a seasoned spiritual leader, a newcomer to the field, or someone interested in spiritual practices, this meeting invites you to contribute your thoughts and experiences. Together, we can develop a framework that respects the value of spiritual work while promoting ethical financial sustainability. The meeting was lightly facilitated by ASI advisor, Kimberley Lafferty.

Psychedelic-assisted therapy presents unique ethical issues above and beyond traditional psychotherapy. Underground guiding is expanding rapidly and is by definition illegal. Self-appointed shamans complicate the underground scene. Entrepreneurs are focused on how to exploit the so-called psychedelic renaissance. As these medicines enter our Western culture, we are challenged to learn how to preserve their spiritual nature and hold the entheogenic journeys sacred. Rachel Harris, PhD is a Psychologist with both a research and a clinical background. She was in the 1968 Residential Program at Esalen Institute, Big Sur, CA and remained on the staff for a number of years. During the decade she worked in academic research, Rachel received a New Investigator’s Award from the National Institutes of Health and published over forty scientific studies in peer-reviewed journals. She was in private psychotherapy practice for forty years. Rachel is the author of Listening to Ayahuasca: New Hope for Depression, Addiction, PTSD, and Anxiety (2017) and Swimming in the Sacred: Wisdom from the Psychedelic Underground (May, 2023).

An open and respectful discussion on the intersection of entheogens and spirituality. In this community meeting, we: •⁠ Discussed the use of psychedelics in eliciting state experiences and how that relates to spiritual stage development. •⁠ Shared ⁠personal experiences and stories of psychedelic-assisted spiritual growth. •⁠ ⁠Explored the risks and potential misuse of psychedelics in spiritual contexts. •⁠ Shared thoughts about the integration and responsible use of psychedelics in spiritual practice. All perspectives were welcomed and respected. This discussion aimed to foster a deeper understanding of entheogens and encourage an open dialogue on all related issues. Guiding Principles: •⁠ ⁠Respect for diverse perspectives •⁠ ⁠Inclusivity and accessibility •⁠ ⁠Harm reduction and responsible use The meeting was lightly facilitated by Kimberley Lafferty. An enlightening and thought-provoking conversation! Disclaimer: ASI neither advocates for nor endorses the use of entheogens. We are organizing this webinar—and developing a new code of ethics for psychedelics—because entheogens have long been integral to many indigenous spiritual traditions, their use in Western spiritual and therapeutic contexts has surged in recent years, and there is a significant need for ethical guidance.

History shows that religious and spiritual principles have been used both to justify atrocities and to promote peace and compassion. Some spiritual leaders engage in worldly affairs to foster peace, while others withdraw to affirm the peace within. As spiritual leaders, do we have a role in shifting collective consciousness through our inner practice or social activism? Are we responsible for engaging with current issues? Can we stay non-attached without falling into spiritual bypass, or do we need to disconnect from the news entirely? How do we, as a community of spiritual leaders and friends, navigate today’s political and societal challenges? Is it possible to synchronize inner peace with skillful means to bring wisdom into the wider community? These questions are more relevant than ever. Join our community discussion for a productive exploration, facilitated by Georgi Y Johnson. Points to Ponder: • Have you felt ethical discomfort discussing politics or facing opposing views in your work? How did you handle it? • Have you felt pressured by spiritual authorities or colleagues to take a political stand? • Are there situations where spiritual teachers or therapists should engage with a student’s or client’s political opinion? • When should a spiritual teacher or therapist disclose their political views, and when could this be coercive or unethical? • How can we maintain spiritual integrity without ignoring real-world challenges? Video of an ASI Webinar on August 26, 2024.